Quit Gazing at My Doughnut!

This is what a doughnut looks like, you gazer.

On a frigid January night, Dave Gray introduced this game while we were hanging out at a neighborhood bar. This is a stupid little game you can play with your friends, if they like stupid little games. Dave said he learned it in the Navy.

Do you play this game, or a variation? Please let me know about it!

The Basics

A doughnut is formed by your first finger and thumb (see illustration). It must be below the waist. Doughnuts above the waist are not doughnuts, just doughnut-like shapes.

A gazer is someone who looks at another person’s doughnut. Don’t be a gazer.

A pound is a blow to the upper arm, delivered by the doughnut-owner to gazers, or other rule breakers. There is a three-step procedure for delivering a pound.

Using your finger, mark the site of the pound with an “X”.
Deliver the blow.
Wipe it off.

Breaking a doughnut is accomplished by sticking your finger through somebody’s doughnut. Just don’t let them catch you.

The Rules

Anybody can play. The game is always ongoing, so watch for good opportunities to catch a gazer.
Doughnuts must be below your waist. Above your waist, it is not a doughnut—and you look stupid.
If you catch someone gazing at your doughnut, you may deliver a pound (following the three step procedure outlined above).
If you screw-up the three step procedure, the other person gets to pound you.
If you break someone’s doughnut, you get to pound them.
Catch people breaking your doughnut by grabbing their finger. If you catch a potential breaker, deliver a pound.

Notes

You can create an effective “doughnut blocker” by holding your hand horizontally below your eyes. This is good defensive playing, but you will lose a hand that could potentially make or break doughnuts.
The intensity of the pound is up to you. Just remember that gazers must be punished.
It’s fun to ridicule gazers by loudly shouting “You gazer!” as you deliver the pound.

Gazers Speak Up

Do you play this game, or a variation? Please let me know about it!

Matt D. reports:

I play the donut game. I never heard all your “official” terms though. I use the same rules. Every time I tell someone about breaking it and catching the break they say I’m just making up rules. Thanks for making a page about it so everyone at work doesn’t think I’m crazy. We just don’t hit each other, because I don’t need someone turning me in to HR and getting me canned cuz I play the game. We use points and each day is a new game.