journal index | bri’s greatest hits
Tue9Jan2001

I am going crazy.
I am pathetic.
I am emboldened.
I am terrified.
I have no doubt about it.
I tried for a year not to admit it.
I denied it.
I lied to others and myself.
Nobody believed it.

She excites me.
She terrifies me.
Stay another hour.
Flower.

I’ve been here before.
I remember the feeling.
It comforts me to know what it is.
The standard series of events.
One-way conveyor belt.
Unknown outcome.
Like riding a canoe toward the falls.

I did nothing today.
Focus.
Created bad art.
Focus.
Listened to love songs.
Focus.
Daydreamed.

I am no longer afraid of what might happen.
Only afraid that it won’t happen at all.
Step aside for pasta sauce.
Second-hand heart attack.

I am a fool.
In love.


Heavy Rotation: David Garza

yesterday