surprise attack of emotion tonight wierd feeling sad but nothing to be sad about, plenty to be sad about but not for me. at the same time lack of emotion dull detached removed. life is happening out there, not here. to other people not me. wind and rain earth is alive cold dark home. floating through space alone diversey has no life no sense of place no character just a shell mine but not really mine. i want to stand outside in the rain in the dark like howard lookout point immerse myself in the life of earth try to be alive, but i’d probably get mugged or catch a cold. so no life tonight no life tomorrow night no wings just dawsons.