here on the bed comfortable memories like childhood but closer and less real. almost seems wrong to be here becuase here feels so right so familiar so immediate—it dissolves the pretty lies we spout to make ourselves feel better—we remember that what we experience is part of us and will remain forever. not just comfortable memories but immediate reality if we let ourselves return. like a dried-out alcoholic holding the forbidden potion in quivering hands, so easy it all comes back with one sip. but taking the sip is easy—the hard part is making the decision to do it.