still very angry confused don’t hate anybody, anything—don’t hate my life just hate circumstances. tried to be malicious, can’t really do it, just look pathetic. went down the hall hoping he wouldn’t be there—knew he was. how did he get so good? why didn’t i take the chance that night? i had it multiple times, but too worried about time. the thing i never really care about i used it as an excuse. now too much time—always thinking getting angry at nothing in particular. like to listen to angry music never did before until this year now its all i can stand, everything else is b.s. i feel cocky like i should say something but i know it would get me nowhere, just feel stupid. she’s happy he’s happy they’re both my friends. i told vinz i can’t stay mad at friends, but i was there and he just showed up and what else can i do but watch and be nice?